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Could the bottle
stay full You by its side in sorrow ?
Could you see the way to another?
With a bottle by your side
Drowned by pain within your soul
To troubles that won't go away
Your hand on the bottle again
To drown the sorrow within
To pain as you set there next to another
Broken thoughts and
pain washed away by another
One more for me and they'll go away
I'll have another bottle
Broken days and pain follows
To the sorrow I put upon the bottle
No more love only nasty thoughts and bad ways
Come your way, from my life with the bottle
In sorrow I regret in every way
For my friend is in my bottle
The one who was my friend and by my side
One more and I'll go
Please stand by me with my bottle
One more I'll be with my friend, my bottle and me
Till my sorrow goes and the bottles there by my side
Has emptied my soul
My friend companion
Didn't mean to hurt you with my sorrow
One more time but the bottle set there alone at the table
As I find my bottle no longer by my side
The pain and sorrow
by my side
My bottle empty
My soul still there no longer in sorrow
I go on with my family and friends
Till I meet the bottle again in sorrow
My friend I stare at by my side
As I hid within the bottle
My soul and heart bottled up to the bottle
That sets on the table by my side
The shame and hurt I left behind
Only memories as I pass you by
No more by my side
The friend I left behind
As the bottle stayed capped by my side
Hanger
Always a Little
Squirrel in Us
Quotes
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it
helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep
your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Catherine Zandonella
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her.
W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Madam, if you were my wife, I would
drink it. --His reply
Sir, you're drunk! --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still
be ugly.
His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking,
I gave up reading.
Penny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and
wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
beer shoot out your nose.
Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention
in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with
pizza.
Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that
everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you
can tell it from urine.
David Moulton
People who drink light "beer"
don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to pee a lot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Kaiser Welhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,
for example, there would be no
way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer.
Washington Irving
> An intelligent man is sometimes
forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools.
For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the
floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just
do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I
drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery and all
of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this
beer, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
come true than be selfish and
worry about my liver."
--by Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When
they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel
all day.
--Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be
drunk to spend time with
his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even
have the decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
up reading.
--Henry Youngman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- Brian O'Rourke
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us
to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
fine invention, but the
wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry
Signs That You Are
Too Drunk.
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
When you can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Every woman you see has an exact twin.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
The glass keeps missing your mouth!
Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell
asleep clothed. - hmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and
[Women or Men].
Hi officer. I'm not under the affluence of alcohol.
I'm not drunk... you're just sober... - HI officer!!!!!!
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
You have a Reserved Parking space at the liquor store.
I'm as jobber as a sudge.
bartender! Get me another Bar!
The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering.
Tom Plummet
Funny How things seem
To Look
Tell your friends about
this one!
Ok if you don't believe me
click here
remember to hit back button to return
and check out what you
can do to entertain the guys or can the guys entertain you?
Sad News About Beer
You have to hope that this study is flawed;
but the evidence seems irrefutable.
Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that,
considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed
the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take
a look at their beer consumption.
The theory is:
"Drinking beer makes men turn into women".
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a
one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men:
gained weight; talked excessively without making sense;
became overly emotional; couldn't drive; failed to think rationally;
argued over nothing; had to sit down while urinating;
couldn't perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.
No further testing is planned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Five stages of drunkenness
Stage
1 - SMART- This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known
Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone
who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person
you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both
parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING- This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in
the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger
knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject
under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH- This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world.
You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of
money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of
course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter
how much you bet 'cause you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you
fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF- You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone
especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing
can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you
fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this
battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are
anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE- This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table
to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see
you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk
through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and
because you're still SMART you know all the words.
What is Beer ?
Beer is made by fermentation cause by bacteria, feeding on
yeast cells, and then defecating. In other words, it's a nice
tall glass of bacteria poop. Thirsty?
RUFUS JF
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