My Child Thinks She’s Fat!    



Of all the damage that fad diets have incurred, none has been more glaring than the destruction of positive body image by teens.  Teens have inherited their mother’s obsession with fat and Hollywood’s obsession with skinny, neither of which have served our teens well. Let’s face it, the reality is that we have always admired and wanted to look like the rich and the famous. After all, they are gorgeous, they are rich and, gosh, they seem happy. What more could a woman want? It wasn’t until the '80s that looking like a movie star required S2 also known as starvation/surgery. Before the '80s looking like Liza   Minnelli or Marilyn Monroe simply meant a change in hair color or make-up, which could all be easily reversed once the fascination wore off. But today it’s so much different. The female celebrities of today are rail thin and perfect with their sparkling white teeth, perky breasts, hoisted derriere and liposuction. How can a teenager possibly compete or fit in if she doesn’t live up to this ideal?     According to Marla Richmond, author, physiologist and eating disorders expert, “There is a return to the ultra thin look. Hip-hugger and midriff styles make thinness a necessity.” Because of these fashions and pressures, our teens continue to feel less than adequate; in fact they feel downright ugly and fat! The real difficulty comes with the mixed messages our teens receive. In one commercial fast food is consumed by cool, good-looking kids. In another ad they show rail-thin girls modeling the latest styles in fashion. So what’s the message? Eat fast food, stay thin and be popular! How can we raise our girls (and yes, even our boys) to focus on healthy living without making it uncool? How can we help our teens understand that rail-thin is a direct result of one of two things: either genetic make-up or a diet that is unhealthy and unrealistic? Richmond says, “Girls need to have control over their body in a healthy way. It’s our job as parents and teachers to help them understand what they can and cannot control, as well as help them develop a positive attitude about nutrition, metabolism and exercise. We need to empower them through possibilities not illusions presented by the media.” Just as we have raised our girls to stand up for their rights and be treated as equals, we need to teach them to appreciate their bodies and respect their genetic differences. Otherwise, it will haunt them their entire lives much like it has haunted many of us baby boomers. I know what you’re thinking, once our kids hit the teen years, any amount of knowledge that we as parents may have suddenly disappears. Parents know nothing, right? So what do you do? Lead by example and be a great role model! While you’re at it, be tenacious with your pursuit of rearing a daughter (or son) that feels great about her (his) body. Both adult and teen magazines continue to use the latest anorexic on their cover. As adults, we realize that we can feel sexy and attractive without looking like one of the models, but we also know we’ll never look like the image they are projecting. Our kids, on the other hand, don’t. They see those magazines and think those bodies are normal and attainable. We all know that these women are paid gazillions of dollars to eat next to nothing and look great. Unfortunately, that’s a reality our kids aren’t willing to buy into. Our kids are being socialized to want something that isn’t realistic or necessarily healthy. I say necessarily healthy because being fit doesn’t necessarily bring about thinness. Fit comes in many different sizes. But we’ve got to believe that before our kids will believe this. More often than not, teens will use dramatic tactics to become thin and that is NOT healthy. Our teens are taking drastic measures in hopes of achieving something that in the end can be very dangerous. There is a plethora of pills available on the internet that kids are seeking out in an effort to emulate the latest rail-thin model. It’s going on all around us and starting with girls as young as 9!I never even thought of myself as overweight when I was a teen until high school. I was walking down the hallway and some guy yelled out, “Hey Bertha.” I was mortified. The veil came off and I discovered I wasn’t the norm and didn’t fit in. At that moment I began my roller coaster ride of diets, bingeing and starving myself in an effort to gain what was rightfully mine... a perfect body The same scenario holds true for our kids. They want to fit in, to be attractive to the opposite sex, and they will go to great lengths to achieve it. Richmond notes, “Women are socialized to be attractive to the opposite sex. Men, on the other hand, are bombarded with media women who are rail thin and perfectly put together; they seek the same in their partners. Girls in turn spend a lot of time trying to please the male expectation of the ‘perfect’ girl. This illusion is as unhealthy for our girls as it is our boys.” The combination of peer pressure and the latest cover girl presents a fantasy that for many girls is impossible. It’s important to note that it’s just as dangerous for our teens to be starving themselves as it is for them to be overeating and inactive. In either case, we need to educate our children about genetics and teach them to focus on their gifts, talents and unique design. We need to find ways to educate them about inclusive activity as well as realistic expectations of their body. Listed below are some red flags that Richmond says may signal an eating disorder or unhealthy body perception.
Does your child initiate excessive conversation about diets and fat?

Does your child continue to ask questions about diets and nutrition that seem out of the norm?

Does your child have a preoccupation with size, frequently making comments about how “fat” she is?

Do you know what he or she is ordering off the internet? Kids will go to extreme measures to get things they think will melt off the weight or increase muscle size.

Is your child drastically changing his/her dietary habits? Becoming a vegetarian is a popular way your teen can avoid eating without seeming too obvious.

Do you notice unusual behavior in order to avoid eating meals? Along with the warning signs, there are also things we can do as teachers, parents and mentors to combat the fixation with perfection and unhealthy alternatives.

As a woman, talk about your body with pride. Don’t say things like, “I’m so fat, I need to lose weight, I wish I looked like...”

Set health or fitness goals that can include your child. Sign up for a community walking event or work together to train for a triathlon. What may seem impossible can be a wonderful journey in which both of you may learn new things about each other and your body’s ability.

Keep healthy food in your house and encourage involvement in meal preparation.

Talk about the importance of fueling your body with “high octane” versus “low octane” (junk) food.

Teach your child to respect his or her body and not use it as a tool for acceptance. Respect of oneself comes from confidence and we need to do all that we can to promote confidence within our children.

Join a health club or take a martial arts class together.

Teach your child that being physically active doesn’t mean you have to be competitive or involved in structured sports. Setting personal goals and achieving them can be very rewarding and empowering for your child.

Talk to your child, but most importantly, listen to your child. Children ask questions to get answers that make sense to them. There are some books out there that parents and teens can read in order to learn more about how their bodies work. Knowing how the body operates helps teens make sense of what is dangerous to the body versus what constitutes healthy habits for healthy living. In addition, this information can empower them and get them on the road to healthy habits. It seems the bigger our kids get the bigger the problems get. As parents and teachers, we do the best we can to give our kids more than what we had and better than what we had. However, we are coming across issues that our parents didn’t have to deal with so we feel ill equipped, As with everything, seek out help when you need it and know that your efforts to keep your child healthy will not be an exercise in futility... though they probably won’t thank you until they have kids of their own!
 

Additional: The information, that I provide to you is strictly for your information. I am in no way (nor do I claim to be) a Therapist or Doctor. I in no way an authority on any of these subjects just simply providing the information to you as a tool in learning about different illness and conditions. In using any of these, you are at your own risk and agree not to hold me responsible, in any way, for the outcome. NightingalesMM/ Nikicj5 is not the author of many of any articles included, and do not claim to own any copyright privileges to them. They are assumed to be in the public domain, and a best effort is taken not to use copyrighted material. If I am infringing on anyone's copyright, please contact: NightingalesMM@aol.com and I will give credit to the deserving party. Information provided in this document is provided "as is" without Warranty or liability of any kind.


The material on this site is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to be a substitute for a health care provider's consultation. Please consult your own physician or appropriate health care provider about your own symptoms or medical conditions. The information should not be considered complete and should not be used in place of a visit, call, consultation or advice of your physician or other health care provider.   
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